You Know You’re A Mum When…
❀ You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make
sure they're equal.
❀ You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke
your child's favourite toy and made him/her cry.
❀ You have a bath to be alone.
❀ You child throws up, and you catch it.
❀ Someone's kid throws up at a party,
and you keep eating.
❀ You consider play dough and finger paint to be
a controlled substance.
❀ You hire a baby sitter because you haven't been out
with your husband in ages, then spend half the night
talking about the kids.
❀ You class ketchup as a vegetable because it's the only
one your child eats.
❀ You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons,
while your child chews his toast into the shape of a
hand gun.
❀ You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
❀ You hate the thought of his wife even more.
❀ You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
❀ You can't bear to give away baby clothes – it's so final.
❀ You hear your mother's voice coming out of your
mouth when you say, "Not in your best clothes!" or
"take your coat off or you won't feel the benefit when you go out."
